did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
