Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize