the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
