It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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