just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives