i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police