Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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  (908): But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes http://tfl.nu/c86w
  Replies (24) Good night (3339) Bad night (635)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away

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  (330): this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away http://tfl.nu/f28q
  Replies (19) Good night (3737) Bad night (786)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.

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  (704): IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT. http://tfl.nu/nkol
  Replies (18) Good night (971) Bad night (4923)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed

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  (336): i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed http://tfl.nu/dxga
  Replies (20) Good night (5039) Bad night (1164)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.

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  (845): i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it. http://tfl.nu/ii10
  Replies (23) Good night (4847) Bad night (878)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3424) Bad night (1067)
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  (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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  (914): This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive. http://tfl.nu/c66s
  Replies (11) Good night (1054) Bad night (3969)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman

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  (908): i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman http://tfl.nu/e120
  Replies (21) Good night (4359) Bad night (2288)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven

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  (574): im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven http://tfl.nu/dx1t
  Replies (6) Good night (4133) Bad night (820)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.

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  (406): I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way. http://tfl.nu/wnl7
  Replies (11) Good night (541) Bad night (1263)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

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  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (475)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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  (406): Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8if7
  Replies (9) Good night (689) Bad night (1144)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?

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  (334): Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex? http://tfl.nu/rvvc
  Replies (23) Good night (1651) Bad night (822)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm

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  (330): Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm http://tfl.nu/amcj
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (520)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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  (313): Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6tbn
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (739)

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