Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize