I'm jealous of your bromance
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize