After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
