i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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