I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
