Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
