i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
