Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
