This dress was meant to end up on your floor
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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