Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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