is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
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Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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