My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
