Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we're so committed to being not committed
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