Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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