but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
