So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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