Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hell yes lets make some ravioli
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
