dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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