btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
