I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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