is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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