Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize