i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
