Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
