I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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