do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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