dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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