Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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  (732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1964) Bad night (759)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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  (814): I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible. http://tfl.nu/rjoz
  Replies (26) Good night (1475) Bad night (3100)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.

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  (810): kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking. http://tfl.nu/av4y
  Replies (34) Good night (8914) Bad night (813)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"

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  (717): I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college" http://tfl.nu/g9gr
  Replies (20) Good night (1028) Bad night (3528)
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  (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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  (914): threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student http://tfl.nu/czt4
  Replies (24) Good night (4997) Bad night (1162)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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  (817): Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes http://tfl.nu/2z3z
  Replies (44) Good night (920) Bad night (4222)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.

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  (914): i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/d0qh
  Replies (5) Good night (816) Bad night (2619)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2455) Bad night (1510)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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  (409): The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out. http://tfl.nu/ni31
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (3563)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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  (502): All I need is the Internet and a place to drink. http://tfl.nu/np52
  Replies (1) Good night (1580) Bad night (1030)
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  (626): View more from California

  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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  (626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06
  Replies (22) Good night (4467) Bad night (1119)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened

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  (505): I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened http://tfl.nu/wwzi
  Replies (9) Good night (542) Bad night (1215)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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  (901): Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this...... http://tfl.nu/c0ql
  Replies (6) Good night (488) Bad night (1313)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So thanks for that

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  (203): By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking" (203): So thanks for that http://tfl.nu/03od
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (283)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

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  (715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (243)

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