Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text

  (214): View more from Texas

  I know you're alive

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  (214): Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text (214): I know you're alive http://tfl.nu/9ods
  Replies (8) Good night (1247) Bad night (2339)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.

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  (713): I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat. http://tfl.nu/0mmi
  Replies (8) Good night (682) Bad night (2254)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Good luck with that.

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  (419): I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me. (260): Good luck with that. http://tfl.nu/2zv5
  Replies (31) Good night (1166) Bad night (2953)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final

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  (970): i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final http://tfl.nu/shle
  Replies (34) Good night (980) Bad night (5510)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

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  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7521) Bad night (1940)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars

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  (516): Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars http://tfl.nu/6xt5
  Replies (21) Good night (7172) Bad night (906)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?

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  (+49): The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed? http://tfl.nu/pvwt
  Replies (8) Good night (3927) Bad night (1322)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (5111) Bad night (923)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.

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  (610): I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it. http://tfl.nu/ip0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1899) Bad night (723)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship

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  (214): I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship http://tfl.nu/dbjp
  Replies (3) Good night (1197) Bad night (566)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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  (401): Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool. http://tfl.nu/duy9
  Replies (7) Good night (2010) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way

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  (702): Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from? (702): Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way http://tfl.nu/vsyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1661) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.

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  (832): And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking. http://tfl.nu/dun3
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.

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  (309): Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror. http://tfl.nu/0k0h
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life

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  (704): Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life http://tfl.nu/jsnk
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (228)

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