You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i already hear my dad disowning me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions