He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude