I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?