Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.