I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.