i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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