I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
