she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
