im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize