that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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