official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The cops high fived after they tackled you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
