He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
