When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
