i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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