...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i was born a porn star she said
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
