My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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