Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
