someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
