you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
