somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize