Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
