whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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