Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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