this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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