Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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