I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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