Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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