Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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