Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
