But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
