My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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