You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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