she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
