My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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