did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
