i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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